Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I CAN MOONWALK!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
