I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
