You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
