I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
