So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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