I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
