A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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