what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
