She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
