You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize