whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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