People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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