Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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