Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize