I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
