no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
