Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
