East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize