I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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