My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
