My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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