No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
