70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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