he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
