She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
