:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
