I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
