Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
