i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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