paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
