Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
