I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
