This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize