Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
