smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You don't make any sense
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