I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize