so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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