i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
