its not stalking. its research.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
