Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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