like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
