What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
