Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
