I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
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