I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
