I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
