marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
