I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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