he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
