No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
