You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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