Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
