I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
