do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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