4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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