I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
