I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
