i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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